Where I don't care what others think


December 20th, 2009 Posted in Uncategorized

As of late, I’ve become increasing aware of segments that are forming around me.  While it could be just me, I feel like those whom I interact with are starting to divide themselves into different social groups.  My analysis has yet to determine if splitting into groups is a positive or a negative thing, but the notion of having separately operating entities doesn’t thrill me too much.

Maybe I am not thrilled because I am a member of  no group. I possibly hold the title captain of the “not affiliated with a group” group which contains those of us that intermittently interact with everyone or no one; however the nature of the “people who aren’t in a group” group is that we don’t act like a group.  Us unaffiliated folks don’t organize group trips to Denny’s at 3 AM in the morning, as a majority of the membership (remember, these folks are really the not-members) may actually go to sleep at a regular hour or happen to be at the right place/time to tag alone.  I hope I can attribute the staying-up-super-late-and-then-complaining-or-bragging-to-me-about-how-you-didn’t-sleep routine to the end of the semester, it would be very nice if next semester others were well-rested and interested in doing work before 10PM.  Personally, I strive to get most of my work done between the hours of 8PM and 5PM, though I must admit I’ve been sleeping a little late this past week and my average work-start time has been around 9:30pm.

Its disappointing to me the lack of progress all these groups are making.  Everyone always “understands” that the semester is busy and such but the semester is always busy.  Instead, I will cite my lack of strong motivating presence, especially during the beginning of the semester, as the primary cause for failure.  Some have made up for this lack of work over the past week or so, but a few of our core units continue to disappoint.  I have trouble identifying where exactly the priority and time-allocations got shifted to.  I don’t see strides being made in other areas, unless those areas are secretly being explored behind my back (which, as of late, is becoming more and more likely).

I’ve toyed with the idea of building a metaphorical campfire for everyone to sit around it to sing kumbaya, but I know that most of us don’t like singing and aren’t very good at it.  Those who do like singing, tend to sing really really badly.  I’m glad they enjoy singing and all. but they’re not the ones who need to participate in this bonding experience.  Also on my mind was the idea of meeting with the segment owners to figure out exactly what is going on.  I’m skeptical I will receive any useful data, as its much easier to make something up then to make progress on tough issues.  One idea I keep returning to is this bottom-up change concept, which involves me violating several contracts and engaging the less influential segment members in a general discussion.  I suspect I can step on just about everyone’s toes by doing this, and I might even produce a situation that is more partitioned than the present.

In another area of my life, I may have mapped out an execution plan for a burden I’ve carried for over two years now.  I am fairly confident that it will work out well for me in the long run if my strategy is successfully executed, though the short-term losses will take some time to realize.  The real trick is the presentation and delivery of this strategy, I can’t just lay it on the table because no one would buy into it at that point.  Unfortunately my casual communication with all the parties involved is extremely limited, so I’ll have to go about this a more subversive way.  If all goes well, you will have no clue what I am talking about in this monologue.

Dodging back to my previous segment discussion, I should give more though to the notion that the segments may interact more than I know.  Recognizing there are likely some extreme outsiders, I’ve recently been lead to believe that people might interact more in my absence.  I won’t directly attribute that to my absence, but maybe the coincidence that I am not present during well established time.

Goodnight moon.

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