Where I don't care what others think

Dress Code

January 24th, 2008 Posted in Life, Problems, Stupid People

To follow up my previous blog, I feel I should provide some more specific commentary on certain subjects that caused me much frustration on the night of the Cotillion. Sure, I didn’t enjoy the food, but that topic is very specific to that time and place, and I should try to blog on a larger topic, something that a few more people might be able to connect with… as if anyone connects with my ideas to start.

Shoes. No, I’ve always wanted to start off a paragraph with the word shoes, and I felt that was close enough.. really I should have started off with clothes, but it doesn’t have the ring shoes does. I conducted several observations at the Cotillion, all based on the dress of students. I’m having trouble phrasing my English at the moment, so I feel it necessary to just get it out.

I found myself very troubled with the dress of a majority of the people at said school dance, it wasn’t that they failed to choose proper colors to coordinate their outfits; but they failed to choose enough of any colors to create any sort of complete outfit.. there was just not enough fabric to go around. I understand people might find pleasure in revealing outfits but personally I have trouble establishing a basis why a female might want to wear such an outfit.. or really a lack of an outfit.And the guys weren’t much better, when it comes time to “dance” on the “dance” floor, they feel it necessary to remove as much of their outfit as possible.. sure the jacket I can understand, but the vest, tie, and sometimes even shirt.. just seems like too little for me. Guys outfits bother me less than females, primarily because each guy was at least wearing a shirt and a pair of pants..women don’t have such standards. I would like to make the basic assumption that they were wearing the appropriate undergarments, but I have no data to back up any analysis in this area. I have a problem with dresses/outfits that lack in two primary areas, length and chest fabric density.

First on the topic of length. I would find any outfit that is 8 times the height of the person to be absurd, as such I find any outfit that is less that 1/2 the height of a person to be equally absurd. Honestly, I just generated that percentage, but I can explain the criteria I used to create said number. At the bottom I feel the Least Dress Length (or LDL) should be somewhere close to the knee, maybe no more than 3-5 inches above the top of the knee. Any more and, unless you have big [non hairy] thighs, I feel you’re exposing too much. While yes, unless your thighs are 6 inches high you technically aren’t exposing anything, but its the thought that counts. Unless you have a thigh condition that required them to get ventilated more than a typical outfit would allow, I see no need to have so much exposed skin. Quite honestly, if you’re having that ventilation problem I suggest you avoid the dance floor all together! Length is not soley limited to the bottom of outfits, there are clear issues on the top as well. I feel for a school formal that exposure on the top should be kept to a minimum. I cannot establish a clear cut guideline, but we can follow the general Brian rule “The more I’m seeing of you, the less I’d like to be seeing.”

Chest Fabric Density… this term maybe be confusing to you, but don’t fear. Brian is here. Chest Fabric Density is a unit of measure for describing the amount of fabric covering one’s chest. Currently I am wearing a collared shirt, button and tucked in. As none of my chest is exposed, its safe to say my Chest Fabric Density is 1. If there was a large in my shirt, say, exposing my entire stomach, it might be safe to say my Chest Fabric Density is close to .5, saying that 50% of my chest is covered with fabric. Guys tend not to have this problem, as they tend to wear clothes or not. Girls on the other hand have plenty of options, one I found very troubling at the event was this dress that lacks a center line. If this girl was getting her chest split open down the middle then this dress would have facilitated such actions. My equation lacks placing value on or weight on certain body parts, but that clearly needs to be added. Exposing a belly button is clearly less problematic to me than exposing a female’s top. If a dress has less than 90% cfd, specifically centered around the top of a female, I think there are issues.

I wish people would realized that I don’t want to see them expose their body parts to me, in an attempt to.. i have no clue to be honest. I am 95% sure they are not trying to catch my attention, and the people whos attention they are trying to catch could likely be caught in a private setting. Please don’t expose yourself to me, I don’t appreciate it, I don’t want to see it. Please take your clothes into a compromised state somewhere else, not at a public setting.

Thank you.


  1. 3 Responses to “Dress Code”

  2. By katie on Jan 25, 2008

    hahahahahahaha. let me just say this blog was utterly amazing to say the least.

    i have to admit that sarah c.’s dress was certainly interesting by far and very umm yea anyways.

    i love how u made up weird ideas and words and phrases it totally made me lol to myself here in the lovely, boring DS meeting.

    so hurry up please cuz im bored and have no more sites to check.

    oo and by the way some kid here at the end of the table, never saw him before, anyways his voice makes me like pee. lol its soo funny i can’t handle it.

    maybe i should just walk out??? haha

    stop eating those damn m&m’s roar.

    p.s wats the pt of holding that marker thats in ur hand right now??

    ok i give up i guess and im laughing so i need to stop.

    byes….i love you

  3. By Kevin on Jan 30, 2008

    That was pretty much the most amazing blog I’ve ever read. Made me laugh laugh in my chair!!! xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

  4. By katie on Jan 31, 2008

    lol yes that blog did make ur brother very happy.

    he came in to school this morning and told me that he was amazed by ur blog

    see u made his day

    go u

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