Brian's World

Snowfall

December 6th, 2006 Posted in College | 1 Comment »

Today I wokeup and there was snow on the ground, less than an inch but snow none the less. It got me very much in the holiday spirit. I’ve already tried to change my blog to holiday mode, but I had some issues with the new theme. I’ll keep working on it.. personally I’m rather tired of the red.

I just returned from the RPI TV meeting, ok, by just I mean 30 mins. But I was elected News Manager, by a pretty decent vote I guess. I had to nominate myself, something I completely hate, after “Andy’s mom” and “Charlie’s mom” were both nominated. I find self-nominations very embarassing because if you have to nominate yourself, it means no one else in the club see’s you as the person to do the job, or they are mute. In this clase no one saw me as the person to do the job I’m pretty sure. I just feel wierd, people were like oh, who? that kid. sure. I guess I should have been lucky that I was elected.

I clearly saw that others that are also Freshmen are clearly on a different playing field, or have an advantage over me. There is a specific example or two where freshmen were nomitated for “higher” positions when they hadn’t previously expressed interest that I was aware of. I think there’s a correlation between being a part of the RPI TV activity during NRB and gaining officer status. I checked that box off as my number one choice but was turned down and defered to another activity.

I know I failed to think outside the box and express interest in another position. I guess my hopes were too dashed from the previous elections meeting.

People probably don’t know me because I don’t do things on weekends, nor would I enjoy to do so. I keep my weekends as free as possible to do other things and hangout with however few friends I can gather up. I should be thankful that I at least have someone who’ll hangout with me or else I’d be nowhere. It frustrates me why people can’t do things during the week. I know that schedules are not that busy where people can’t work on something in the evening or afternoon or.. god-forbid, morning.

I know I’m not satisfied with where I stand because I have a strong desire to do stuff. Anything, preferably something difficult.. but I’ll start with anything. As News Manger, I’m suppose to coordinate news productions. Thats very generic and unspecific if you ask me. Fundamentally I think there is a problem with the idea. College students don’t get much news, and the news they do get is likely to come from the internet. Also, RPI TV’s channel 6 in unappealing. The message board is there, but the content isn’t. For a news show to happen there needs to be interest, interest will come when people watch, people will watch when there is something there. To break the cycle you need an on-air talent who cares, an anchor that will give of themself knowing that no one will see their work. Unfortunately in college all the anchors have gone to anchor school.

Where does that leave me?

An offer of Defeat

December 3rd, 2006 Posted in College, Mistakes, Problems | 2 Comments »

I struggle to find a title for this blog, there are so many possibilities that I could name it but unfortunately I’m not sure which one fits best. I like my blog titles to be both obscure but to the point. In this case the problem is being obscure about the subject but also not generalizing too much. Ok, let me just start writing.

I’m involved in the TV club here at RPI and I’ve expressed past interested in some form of leadership in the club. At this point in the blog I don’t want to say what leadership, maybe you can find that referenced in another blog. But tonight it was rather clear to me that my role in the group was directly linked to my time here at RPI and in RPI TV.

Clearly when I was trying to figure this whole thing out I failed to account for a few individuals. Two of which I should have, and one who is somewhere far away. I also failed to account for the main factor, how I present myself and the experience I’ve had.

I’m now tired of dancing around the issue. I’m not a fan of the position it was suggested I run for, nor was I a fan of the lack of open discussion that went into things. I can clearly see the need for such a process, but I can’t see the effectiveness of it. While it may help clear up whats going on with a fairly large election, it doesn’t seem very friendly to newcomers.

Maybe this connects to the fact that elections are being held in the winter instead of the late spring. I’m still very much considered a freshmen here at RPI and my ‘experience’ is ‘lacking’. By experience I mean the percieved experience, and by lacking I mean no one knows. It frustrates me that , as I see it, some are being suggest for positions because they’ve been in the club longer, not because they are necessairily better qualified. I have trouble understanding how one can place someone in a position without first fully understanding their qualifications.

Sure, I should be thankful I was suggested for something. Yes, the original suggestion really didn’t have anything to do with my qualifications at all, but I guess I should be thankful I might have something. I ended up somewhere I’ll settle for, I’m not very content with it, but I guess it kinda fits me. I mean yes, I’ve done news before. (News Manager was the suggestion) I’ve done news for the past four years, give me news and I can have a show in under 24 hours. I’ve done special events before, I’ve filmed enough plays and musicals to sing along to. I guess I was looking for something better suited to be more “all-encompassing” of myself and my talents. I enjoy a challenge, and if elected I know I have one (where is the news exactly).. but I would have rathered a challenge thats a little less specific and.. well.. more challenging.

I also dislike the fact I have few expectations to live up to. I’d rather have huge shoes to fill then none at all, it helps to provide drive or something like that. Its just grr.. I looked forward to the opportunity to show what I can do, but nope.. I’m going be showing on a small facet of Brian.

I hope the rest of my life doesn’t continue like this. I dislike only using part of me. Like if your never used your left arm, it just sat there.. or in this case.. only used your right.. wouldn’t everything else start to go a little numb.

My only hope is that a) I actually get elected… and b) the person I serve under (if elected) is open to my ideas, no matter how unconventional they are. I’m also upset that I’m going to be in this position for a year. I hope someone dies.. not really.. I hope there is some way I can better my place, or make my position.. if elected.. more worthwhile.

Honestly, its tough. I had spent a good amount of my time and thinking power working on ways I could better RPI TV, and I find myself suggested with a position that is in no way to do any of that… right now anywhere is looking better than RPI. Preferably somewhere without an established TV program.

Who knows what will happen.

Blah.

Tis a Sunday

December 3rd, 2006 Posted in College, Life | No Comments »

Sigh… it was a very interesting weekend, it seemed to fly by faster than usual… maybe connected to classes winding down.

I’ve officially declared it cold here in Troy. I’m wearing a hoodie, a garment I’m not a fan of wearing, but it was the best way to stay warm. The rumour is snow on Monday, and continue into forever. Who knows though. All I know is classes are just about done 🙂

I’ve finished my last CS project and when I reflect on what I’ve learned I can say its very little actual knowledge. Sure, I learned how to make a class and pass variables by reference, but I haven’t changed how I code, haven’t been taught any revolutionary way to approach a problem, just syntax stuff. Of course this isn’t very helpful when I spend most of my time using different languauges where its more helpful to understand approaches than syntax.

On a better note I finally made the deployment CD for the message board system. Its up and running in my virtual machine, if I could only emulate the exact hardware needed.

Dear World: Please use IPv6, or at least install it on your machine. I don’t see why it can’t be used internally here at RPI, with some extensive crossover-bridges… if earthlink can do it, I would imagine the VCC can figure it out.

Back to this weekend, it was wierd. Katie was here visiting which is great, and we got to watch my most favorite movie ever.. Bedknobs and Broomsticks. If you haven’t seen it, your missing out on some great Disney 1971 magic, and Angela Lansbury action.

It was just wierd, saying goodbye was extra hard, maybe because the weather was very dreary out, or the weekend blew by, or we both were going to have stressful weeks? I do not know. I know I am excited to be home in under two weeks, thats always very pleasent. Still no response on potential part time employment, but I hear my boss is very busy, very understandable.

Well, I’m feeling rather blah and gray at the moment. Maybe I’ll go eat some dinner and then work on homework before my fate is decided.

Will it snow?