Brian's World

Justification

Is it alright that I’m comfortable with something most people wouldn’t be? Its late, someone has been in the bathroom since roughtly 11:18pm when I decided it was time for an early bedtime. Some bedtime…

Yea, despite what the average person would think, I have lots of logic behind my reasons. Yes, A is commonly associated with B, but plenty of other things are commonly associated with B as well. Its not like a lack of association between A-B implies there is no B, it simply implies B is a little different, maybe more complicated, than one would originally perceive. I’m find breaking the association and connecting B with something more like C if that resolves and dependencies that arise with B that I could be uncomfortable resolving through my role in A. These letters are confusing me, but none the less I don’t want miracles, I want people to be happy.

Also, lately I’ve found myself slightly bored with the coding, sure there is plenty of diverse projects on my plate, but I’ve gotten past the thinking point for most of them. I’m writing code so that they work, there are no more challenges in front of me that I can see because I’ve thought it all out. Stupid thinking ahead.

There are several things I’m not good at, and there are even fewer things I won’t pretend to be good at. I dislike it when people assume that I must be good at something simply because I meet certain criteria, yes they are commonly connected but a connection does not define the magnitude of existence, just existence or not. Commonly is a word that needs work, commonly means that up to a certain threshold, an assumption should hold true. I commonly wash my hands after I go to the restoom, that use of commonly has a very high strength of association but saying I commonly comb my hair after washing my hands is still a true statement, but far less frequent then the first.

Sure, I feel left out sometimes, but then I realize my attitude on life is very differnt. While I won’t use the phrase “visible results”, I think that results are important, but value cannot be lost in the process/effort working towards those results. Yes, all of that is true, but for my case I’ve found that results don’t produce themselves, I have to do something to make them happen. I can’t code and carry on a good conversation at the same time, I don’t have the financial strength to

Ok I think I am going to wet the bed, the bathroom has been occupied for > 1 hour. Wetting the bed is not an option as I just washed these sheets on Tuesday.

If I was a mathematician I could spend my spare time doing math. If I was a scientist of some sort I could do experiments, but as a Brian its hard. I can’t just sit down and crunch formulas or run numbers to produce something, I have to insert some effort.

Sometimes I get the urge to do the math, but then I loop hope and loose objectiveism. I really don’t want to have a quantitative value of looser i am…..

Leaves

At one I thought I was done, so I shut down my laptop and sat waiting for Vista to shutdown. It can take quiet some time so I just sat there, enjoying the peace and quiet of nothingness, something I don’t get very often around here. I starred at some trees, thinking about how they catch the wind. It came to me that trees themselves catch little wind, yes there bark does catch some of a passing breeze helping them move, but most of the wind is caught by the leaves. Any forces the leaves cannot handle internally by rotating slightly or shaking are transfered onto the branch. One leaf would have a very hard time making a bow flex, but the summation of many leaves have a very high potential.

I also spent a great deal of time debating what I should do for lunch, should I eat at commons or should I quest to the Union? Both will serve food that will nutritionally provide similar value to me, but each venue is very different, and I was in a thinking mood. Commons is essentially free, meaning that its already been paid for. The Union on the other hand is not free, and has an average cost of $6.00 per meal. Eating in the Union allows me to work on my laptop while I consume their food, eating at Commons allows me to watch everyone else get their food while I sit alone at one of the counter tops. For lunch at Commons I would probably make a sandwich and possibly some soup (only if its good). At the Union I have 2 options, Chicken Tenders or a Grinder. Overall I would rate the Union food as better, but the unbeatable price of Commons presents a very compelling argument. Yes, in any given day $6 might not be very much, but $6 * 5 days a week = $30, which would grow > $100 a month. Clearly I don’t eat there everyday a week, nor would I ever like the idea, but evaluting logic at its limits can provide strong insight.

What did I choose? Silence. That was my decision. My ears felt very comfortable, taking a reprieve from the noise they are constantly exposed to. There is no one talking to me, no background noise, no nothing; and I’m enjoying it.

In other matters, the previous weekend will be discussed at a later date and time, at which, I’m not sure where I’m going with this. Grr for loosing focus. I also am researching twitter, more to come soon.

Have a pleasant afternoon.

That is all.

Green Day

No, this blog is not a follow up to Green Day’s Ode to Hamlet or anything of that like; lets talk about the different type of green… arguably more important, the green Earth! Why? Well its certainly not a topic I would normally blog about, mainly because it doesn’t effect my everyday life in a direct way… I think thats part of the problem, global warming and all that stuff isn’t something we easily notice as affecting us everyday. I can’t way I’ve been frustrated at the Earth lately, it hasn’t played loud music or prevented me from doing my homework. A little alarm bell doesn’t go off telling me that I am late for a save the earth meeting, but that doesn’t mean its not important.

Maybe I need to be more enviromentally aware, I try to be environmentally smart.. recycling as much as possible. I minimize trips in my car, most of the week it sits parked in a lot up here at BARH.. I like walking to the Union, classes, etc.

I save a little power by turning off the lights as much as possible. I insist on turning the lights off in the bathroom and any other room I’m in while I’m not there… and I like using sun light when possible. I don’t know how much this actually matters when you look at the computers and everything I’m related to. Sure, I turn them off at night (everything but the servers), but they still drink power like its going out of style… is it?

I could buy carbon offset for everything I do, but that doesn’t feel real enough. I don’t doubt someone is planting a tree or whatever they do with it, but I could go plant a tree in the forest in South Hadley if I wanted, there are already a bunch of trees in there too.

That might just be part of the problem, I think I’ve ran out of ways I am environmentally friendly. I recycle and minimize my car usage, there certainly must be more I can do without taking it too far. I don’t want to convert my car to run off vegetable oil.. but I’d be willing to take a small step or two.

Any ideas of small things I could start doing to improve the Earths condition? I’m open to try just about anything if it makes sense to me.

All this earth talk makes me feel like going camping, which I get urges for in the fall when all the leaves are changing and looking cool. The air is nice and cool and brisk, there is a pleasent breeze.. very nice camping weather.. I wish I could be sleeping outside in a tent in a forest. Too bad there wasn’t a forest outside my window at RPI, stupid parking lot.