Brian's World

My mind is lost

I just learned of a super huge moronic move on my part. Turns out I forgot to invite Katie to prom. Well, I solved that about an hour ago but Yikes, I feel bad because now she has to rush and everything with 1 month and and a week until May 19. What’s even worse is I have memory of already asking her, but apparently I must have dreamed that up. Wow I’m dumb. I dreampt up an event that never actually happened and relied on it as fact, who does that? But I feel bad putting Katie under all the preassure and stuff to cram, it was a super huge mistake on my part and I should have checked sooner. What I dreampt (is that even a word) up was nothing out of the ordinary, it seemed like something that would have happened… one day at lunch or in the media studio asking her.. wierd huh? Grr to me.. I’m sorry!
You know those “I’m with stupid” t-shirts, well, I’m getting one that says “I’m the stupid”

Dreamer

There are a few things that would really make my summer super cool but I know there is no chance of this happening at all but the following would make my summer completely rock:

1. Going to London/England/Europe with friends for a week or two. (virtually impossible but that would totally rock my socks, so much so i would wear holes in them from rocking so much.)
2. Head off to NYC/Boston and have a blast in the city

3. Go to the cottage in VT with some friends? (not sure if this would be fun tho)

4. Hang out with people like every day possible!

5. Hit the beach!

6. Hope the next Dan Brown book comes out and read it!
Ok, I ran out of ideas here.. but I’m going to work on this as a work in progress

Socia

As of late I have become peticularly attuned to certain “norms”, or normal behaviors, that society accepts. These behaviors frustrate me because I don’t partake in them at all, and it’s almost expected or assumed that I do. Honestly, I don’t want to. I’m quite alright with what I do now, who I am, and I really don’t want to change.

I was hearing stories from some friends and every now and then there would be a joke thrown my way or a question asking me to share details or something along those lines but I had nothing to say, no details to add or any stories… better yet, I was ok with that! Sure, I was quite disturbed.. no, that’s not right… frustrated.. that people I respected, and some that I looked up to, would partake in such activities. Yes, I know that I should let others do as they please because it’s really none of my business but the other part of me just gets frgoustrated and is grr. I know I can still look up to them for some things, but the “good guys” club is dwindling. Our numbers were always low, but now it seems it’s just me… standing alone to face the storm and winds. See, what makes this a wierd feeing is the fact that I don’t have any desire to emulate their behaviors or fall to their level, I don’t mind being alone here. I’ve always enjoyed being the one that opens the doors in the hallways or the person that’s shared my calculator. I enjoy being a decent guy that actually cares about the person as an individual, not as an object. But I don’t enjoy getting slander for being such a person. Deep down something tells me people are just throwing rocks at me from below in an attempt to get me to fall, thinking its where I belong or even because they wish they could be this person? Nah.. no one wants to be me. Well, I can dodge rocks pretty well so I don’t expect to be joining you anytime soon. You go have fun doing what you do, sure… I’ll be happy for you; but also know that I don’t want to join you, and trying to pull me there is not going to get you anything but a sore back.

DISCLAIMER: This came about in light of events in the last week. While the stories are true the names and specific activities have been left out to protect the individuals involved. I feel like Joe Friday from Dragnet saying that… I really enjoyed that show.