Where I don't care what others think

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July 9th, 2006 Posted in Problems, Stupid People | No Comments »

Well I’m back from South Carolina, this post won’t be about that much tho. I’m too busy being upset at my mom at the moment.

I know my mom has never been super supportive of me and my relationships, I know she was hesitant to allow me to go to South Carolina with Katie and her family but luckily dad was able to pull through. Kudos to dad!

I overheard her talking to one of her sisters about me so I figured I would hang around and see what details she would reveal. Well, turns out my mom offers 0% support for me regarding relationships. I always thought there was a ounce, a drop, a molecule of it but through her conversation she clearly conveyed none.

Mom went on to explain to her sister that Katie and I are very “close” and hangout often. My mom fears that seperation will lead to a huge depression on both of our parts. Sure, I’ll be sad without Katie at RPI.. I know that… but I also know that I can find other ways to show I love someone without always being physically there. My mom took the leap so far as telling Katie’s mom to watch out for Katie when I leave. What does she need to watch out for?

My mom continued with how I choose such an expensive school to attend, I choose the academically rigourous one, etc etc. Well mom? Actually, this was the school of the calibur you chose. When visiting schools like (WPI) you pointed out factors that don’t matter too much like a fallen down neighborhood or a “puertorican district” (My apologies for the spelling). I remember the meetings with guidance where my mom flat out said “MIT is not for you” “Those schools are too far away for you” “You don’t want a city enviroment” and I remember her telling me I was going to a school “better” than UMASS or WNEC.
I come home and guess what, all my mail has been opened and read! Letters to “Brian Michalski”… even one with the word “PRIVATE” on it were opened and mom already had a response planned. She went shopping for me and decided what I need for my dorm room, can I not have a say in what sheets I get? Must I have a matching towel? Does anyone really care if my pillowcase doesn’t match the sheets?

I know what she wants, I know what will make her happy. She wants me to break off and go to college with no friends or relationships like she did. She want me to wait until I’m settled down with a career (if teaching is a career) like she was before I start dating. I never asked for her approval because to me it didn’t matter to me. This doesn’t only apply to relationships either, I know my mom disapproves of me coming home from college to visit with friends and the Tiger Times on any kind of regular basis because that was something she didn’t do. Yes, I know I’m not there yet and I won’t know what will happen for another month and a half but I plan on doing college my way.. and the first step is ordering a laptop that she doesn’t think I should get…
Its just grrrrrr… I never asked for your 100% support, I’ve never gotten it either. I remember the days when I was a younger boy scout and mom was always there telling me it was going to be too cold, I might freeze, maybe you shouldn’t go or the rocks would hurt me, I would get bug bites or scratches.
But you know what mom, I went camping. Yes, it was cold sometimes but I enjoyed ever minute of it. Not only did I enjoy it but I managed to embrace and thrive in it becoming an Eagle Scout. I hope my ability to thrive in such opposition does not only apply to Boy Scouts…

and my heart says it doesn’t

All in all I have a few final thoughts.

Privacy, Trust, Respect, and Courtesy/Decency are worth more than all the gold in the world, a few drops would make me rich. Trust few but yourself. Rely on few but yourself. Privacy does not exist.

A cane made of jello looks cool but does nothing.

Ok, wierd ending.. time to shower and attack the peeling skin.

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Au Revoir

July 1st, 2006 Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Tomorrow morning I’ll be leaving for South Carolina with my girlfriend to meet her parents down there. Our flight is at 6:50AM so I’m waking up at 3:45 and waking everyone else up at 4:00. The procedure for getting in touch with me is simple, follow it closely and nothing should go wrong.

1. Text Message, I can reply to a text message quickly so send them. Keep messages short so I don’t get tired of typing with my thumbs.

2. Email, I plan on having gmail access. If this changes you will notice due to a lack of replies. (Prays for WiFi)

3. Call, my cellphone will be on me at just about all times. No, not while swimming, but just about anywhere else. Note: If I don’t answer that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk, it just means that I’m too busy to answer or something (eating dinner, talking with someone, etc.) Feel free to leave voicemail.

Cell Number: 4504 – 135 (314) [[Reverse everything to get it]]

Email bmichalski S.P.LAttt gmail dot com

remove splatttt with @ and dot with .

this hopes to prevent spam while I’m away.

In other news, I looked at some screenshots of XGL for Linux and it looks really really cool, like better than os x cool. You should google it. I would expect to see it in the next, after vista, version of windows. – Credit to AB for this one

Well, I need to sleep now. Talk to y’all soon!

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The cycle

June 28th, 2006 Posted in Mistakes, Problems, Studio | No Comments »

My summers are a cycle of boring. I’ve never done anything exciting, nor am I used to doing anything exciting. And unfortunately I know I’m bringing other summers down with me. When you’re used to a great summer filled with fun and adventure, and you join my summer; you’re introduced into a world of boredum. I don’t know anything besides what I have. I don’t know how to have fun, where to have fun, or even what to do in summer. I missed that part of “growing up” and I can’t find it. There’s something about being a 13-16 that allows fun to just appear for you, and for me fun did appear, don’t get me wrong there; but I was pulled away to Vermont whenever it did appear.

And now I feel awful, when people are waiting on me and I’m not able to do things for one reason or another. I know one reason is fear of continued failure, or the lack of coming up with things to do. I know the other is out of my control (aka parental units). I know some are in my control, like what I plan to do and such.

I know one thing that has kept me busy. I’ve been working on a project for a little while (a few months) now and its definately the largest project I’ve undertaken to date. It’s due Friday, and it will be a miracle how I get it done. I have about 3 hours of raw footage that need to be cut into good footage that needs to be put together. So far I’m leaning towards one hour, currently I have around 12 mins of high quality completed video. Why the last minuteness?

a) I lost the master tape that had the final “glue” of the video (aka narration)

b) My usual editing times were not available because I was hanging out with people

c) I cannot Instant Message/Myspace and edit at the same time. The editing software crashes and melts.

d) I cannot stand the repeated use of w.e. to express frustration. To me it shows an unwillingness to try. Sorry, completely off topic but it popped into my mind.

e) I spent too much trime thinking and not enough time doing

f) Darn, I just forgot f.. trust me, it exists… think think think… I had to change plans at least 5 times because of LACK OF COOPERATION

g) That wasn’t the f I was thinking of…well.. who cares… no one!

In other news… I’m hoping on a plane to SC on Sunday morning, at a very early hour of the morning.. I’m excited. I like airplanes, I dislike mom trying to help me pack, I like waves, I dislike salt water.

There is other news, I don’t feel like shareing tho… just know its my fault, like always.. and listen to the Over My Head song.. the part about waiting on a cue…

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