Brian's World

You just get in the way…

Sometimes people frustrate me… as you may or may not know, I’m very bad at the physical part of relationships, things like hand holding, hugging, putting ur arm around her, and kissing. My latests goal is to work on all this, because I don’t want to fail, and I don’t like failing. I really enjoy the times we’ve gotten to hold hands, that time(s) I put my arm around you or something, the hugs, and the other stuff that I can’t remember but would like to next time. I don’t know but it just creates a good feeling inside of me, a feeling I like, it’s hard to explain actually… but this is drifting from the point now.

What I was trying to say up there is I definately like all that stuff and really enjoy it but I find it hard to do. It’s tricky to figure out, trying to find the “right” time or the “right” place, or the “right” people to be around.

Most of the time we’re together in the studio which has a very interesting dynamic. I’m busy some of the time working or yelling at people or trying to take control of something… and it seems when I’m not doing that certain people get in the way or the positioning is awkward. Those individuals are the ones that tend to annoy you or I a lot but I don’t want to say their names… sometimes I’m like…. grrrr I would hold her hand if you weren’t in the middle between us… that’s probably the most frequent event, someone being between us.

I’m not sure how I can fix this, I think it might be rude if I just started pushing ppl out of the way or something; well, I know of at least one person I wouldn’t mind pushing out of the room. He/She is probably the one that annoys me (and probably you) the most. He’s just grrrrr… he’s always stupid and always getting on my nerves. He puts himself in positions where (if he was going out with u) it would be ideal for pda or something… I dunno, I probably shouldn’t be thinking about other people as much as I should be thinking about myself.

My goal is really to look more like a bf and less like another guy by cotillion time, because that’s probably the time most people will find out and I want it to look as real as it is or something.

Well, I have a strong headache right now, I’ll fill you in later. But you can leave comments here or in IM (dectivebam) or whatever.