Brian's World

Things Fall Apart

I apologize for a lack of updates, things got busy this week with bombs, other stuff, and other stuff. I really can’t pinpoint why I’ve been so busy, but there has been a lot on my mind. Let me break this down by bullets:

1. Wednesday there was a bomb threat at school, in the middle of the AP Chemistry test. Since we had to evacuate, and testing integrity was compromised, the test is rescheduled for Wednesday, May 17 from 12pm to 3pm. Now that day is also the Tiger Times field trip, the first time we’ll be actually doing something outside of school as a group ever… so I have to make a choice. Neither can be moved. I really am stuck here… the AP Chem test is the AP test we’ve done the most preparation for (over a month of studying the test and doing past tests) but I also know I average a high 3 on the practice tests. I need a 4 or 5 to get credit at RPI so I’m not sure if I can pull it off. I think that if I try really hard I can get some points on question #4 and get a low 4.. the other side is the Tiger Times debate. For the past 4 years I’ve spent 1.5 hours afterschool putting on this daily news-show. I’m director and president of the group, and pretty much the go to guy of the studio. I know I’d have fun on the field trip, but I also know people will have fun even if I’m not there. So I’m tied here. Generally, at night while lying in bed I feel I should be taking the AP test.. for the sole purpose of taking the harder path. Othertimes I think I deserve a break to go have some fun, honestly… I never go on field trips. Not being an art/music/science club member means I go no where, and this would be a pleasent change. I have 3 days to decide, and I bet this will be a 11th hour decision.

2. Prom: Yea… I could go on for hours with my frustration here, but I’ll limit it to one paragraph and several run-on sentences. When the time came to purchase tickets and such, I asked a good friend what he was doing for his table. He replied, “I dunno, I have to talk to my date.” I figured that was sincere so I waited to get a response. Not getting one anytime soon, I went to another friend.. hoping to get some word. Well, this friend let me know he was at a table already.. great I thought, we can join them. Of course, my luck never holds through. Turns out all my friends, the new ones I’ve made in my 4 years at SHHS down to those I’ve been close with since 1st and 2nd grade are at this table. Why would they need room for me? I dunno, I know that the person planning this table really doesn’t mesh with me very well, but I’m friends with everyone at this table and I was really looking forward to sitting with them. It’s like grrrr… did no one think to mention me in the picture at all? Seriously, I know that you can blame it on the fact you expected 2 more seats at the table.. but even then, that doesn’t console me anymore to know that we would be the last two people thought of. Trust me, you know how it feels bad to get picked last in gym class…. try not getting picked at all. But a table has been found with some friends on mine, and that’s making things a little bit better. I really know who I can thank for looking out for me and I appreciate that a lot.

Ok, I didn’t think there was going to be a second paragraph, but I just remembered my latest topic of frustration. Well, back when the whole prom thing was being talked about at home, my parents were pushing me stay away from a limo and drive. Personally I don’t think that driving is as cool, but it’s not that big of a deal for me. To encourage me do this, they offered me the Lexus… ooo, a fancier car then my old 97 green volvo… At first I was like oh great, how do I drive that thing.. but I started to like the idea, it’s a decent car opposed to my volvo. Fast forward to this morning, dad decided it would be better for me to drive the volvo. He pulled some insurance garbage that pretty much equated to the fact he’s too lazy or unwilling to let them know I’ll be driving it for a night, especially since he’s stuck at home all day… Mom agreed with him completely, citing that it’s a new car and she wouldn’t want anything to happen to it, etc, etc. I’m not a bad driver, I haven’t gotten in any accidents or any close calls. My worse mistake has been running over a curb once at Friendlies.. just a lil bump. OOO.. mom just came up and told me to take the Lexus, she must have sensed some kind of sadness on my face. Not wanting to sound desperate or anything, I said No, it’s ok… and stuff like that… we’ll see how this all plays out.

3. Mothers day: My brother failed to wrap mom’s gift, which dad bought the wrong colour in… so it all got blamed on me for not telling dad what colour, and me not telling kevin which reindeer I hid it under.. (we only have 2)

4. Of course I was forced to attend mass on Mothers day. Next weekend I don’t want to, but we’ll see how that plays out

5. DaVinci Code opens Friday.. I’m reserving tickets for a Saturday afternoon show

6. Tomorrow I find out if I qualify for the second round of this DaVinci code puzzle thing, if I do it’s one step closer to lots of plane tickets around the world!

7. I really enjoyed a 2 hour break from my parents last night, given I was nervous but I’m glad I’m over that nervousness a little bit. It turns out that cool parents do exist out there!

On topic 7, I saw a kind of contrast with my parents. How my parents have always said they’ll support me if I really truly believe in something, but actually when I need their support, or even their approval, they back down. My parents both tend to follow some kind of cycle. They promise me something that I like. I get my hopes up. When it comes time for that to materialize or grow to fruition, they back down and blame it on extraneous circumstances. This keep repeating, and I’m tired of being let down.

8. My 18th birthday is May 25. I know my brother will most likely give me a pair of socks or underwear that he doesn’t want. My parents want to get me a cell phone, that’s a pleasent gift, especially since I saw the “FREE Upgrade” mailing on the dining room table. Yes, I wouldn’t mind a new cell phone… but I’d like to pick it out with a plan and features that support me. Not the ones that support a “free upgrade” marketing campaign. What do I really want? If I ask I won’t recieve. I already tried that and I got told that was a stupid gift I would never use. (It was a computer programming dictionary kinda thing) But that’s how the cookie crumbles in my life.

9. Graduation. I graduate on June 4th, 2006. Drawing to a close the past 18 years of my life. My mom has already told me that I’m going out to dinner that night with family, and she’d be more than happy to arrange something with friends. The problem is she’d be arranging it. I have a feeling this will fall through the cracks like so many other things…

10. I’m making 10 copies of a DVD for Mr. Roy at the moment, how will I be rewarded… with a “Thank you Brian”

Well, I think I need to dedicate some time to bluffing my way through an english paper… I’ll post updates as I feel the need…

11. I was hoping to get together with friends to watch the final episode of Survivor tonight, but I think my mom is in a bad mood so that won’t happen.