Brian's World

Feeling Better

I am feeling better from my ailment now. I’m not sure if will be healed tomorrow, or I’m just feeling better because it has been a long day and I will be going to sleep soon. I did stare at myself in the mirror last night and command myself to get better, I think that step was important because if I think I’m getting better, I will get better.

A lot of the time things I say aren’t taken as well as I wish they were. I can spend a lot of time getting very excited about an idea and planning it out and all hyped up about it just to find that when I share it I am either a) the only person who cares about it because the issues is of my importance anymore or b) I am wrong and that is that. When someone else presents me with an idea I assume they are excited for it and have some reason for presenting it to me. While they are looking for my feedback, they are almost always looking for that feedback to be presented in a positive fashion. If I think their idea is dumb I won’t say “well I think that is a dumb” because thats not effective. Instead I’ll try to redirect their efforts towards something that makes a little more sense. Of course this would imply people present ideas to me, which I can’t say has been done since high school.

A lot of those stupid MySpace surveys and stuff out there raise the question “if you could talk to anyone at all, who would it be?” I think my answer would be myself, 10-15 years from now. Throwing aside any time-continuum problems, I think that conversation might be one of the most ensightful I could have. I find it very hard to ask people for advice, which tends to be very complicated when you imply my information is free policy. Telling someone you asked for advice about stuff doesn’t work out well usually… but thats ok. I’ve found that I tend to be the best source of information to help me, which is problematic when I don’t have the solution right away, or even a path to get there. Yes, in various components I’m sure I align with some population that could offer advice, but that alignment is very rare. Maybe advice is the wrong thing to seek, I might I could be best serviced my an ancient chinese proverb or something like that… hrm.

Since I can’t go a blog without saying something about Concerto.. we’ve been pushing for this deployment of the system within a week or two which is great and all, but that seems to be all people are thinking about.. at least all that I know they are thinking about… but the loop tends to not include me. I think I’m thinking ahead, but for all I know I may be thinking about some midpoint between now and then. How am I to know? Today’s meeting was pretty lame, it was myself and Battista for the first 30 minutes. Then DiTore showed up; and finally we were graced with the presence of August and Brian. Needless to say it was very ineffective. I tried my best to outline an agenda and do stuff, but I fail as per SOP.

I need to fill up my cup of water before I go to bed, which I should do soon. I have to stay up later on Friday and Saturday because Commons doesn’t open until 9:00am.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring to be exact. I will likely write some code, do some boring homework, and then sit like a log. Sometimes there are exciting things going on in my life… oh wait.