In the last ~5 years of working at my current gig I’ve grown to appreciate a certain amount of clarity. I haven’t always had direction, but I’ve almost always had a pretty clear understanding of the field and all the choices ahead of me. I’ve been able to look around, survey the seas, and set sail in whatever direction I felt appropriate.
Lately I’ve felt more uncertain, like a fog has settled in around me. I can still set sail in whatever direction I please, but I’m not long able to discern anything of value looking around surveying the seas and the stars. This is probably par for the course, I shouldn’t have expected to permanently enjoy such a long view of the horizon.
Waiting for the fog to clear doesn’t feel like a very viable plan, it’s better to be moving in any direction than floating there waiting for the fog to lift. On the flip side, I’m not sure how much supplies I have to last long sailing aimlessly. I have bouts of guidance when my gut feels strongly in a certain direction, but it takes a lot more effort to make that direction stick than it usually does. Trying to spot and follow other ships has yielded mixed results, I’m oftem not sure they’re heading to the same destination as I.
Good night moon.