Where I don't care what others think


February 17th, 2010 Posted in Life, Personal

I force myself to write this morning not because I’m super excited to tell a story, but because documentation is key.  My memory frequently lapses, and these days may be critical in a future time.   Here’s to a future self.

I try not to blow my bugle too often, reserving its use for times when alertness and responsiveness are important.  It disappoints me to receive such a dismal response to a trumpeting.  Rarely are my requests unfounded, and never are they unjustified; my simple pleas fall far too frequently on deaf ears.  I wonder if the bugle itself is flawed,  maybe it’s important is being drowned out by the call of others, or its tune indistinguishable from the rest.  I’m hesitant to invest the time in learning a new tune, worried the time spent won’t rally any more support.

I almost made the mistake of discussing whether the game can actually change, nearly citing the game as static constant only flexible in the ways we perceive it.  I am glad I avoided entertaining such a discussion, instead I’m left to think about how the game can be effectively moved in our direction.  Traditionally, I’ve played my hand for the betterment of others, trying to reap any reward purely as side effect of those actions.  I recognize this method may not be the most effective at providing any personal gain, but my training has guided me to enjoy any slight gains on this front.  I do wonder what more I could be doing to adjust the variables to better align with the goals, or (the alternative) adjust the perceptions of key parties to better reflect the desired scenarios.   What I do know for sure is that plan A hasn’t been very successful, and the results plan B have yielded haven’t shown much promise.

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