Where I don't care what others think

Writing at an angle

March 12th, 2009 Posted in Life, Personal, Problems, Stupid People

Tonight I’m writing to you from a 40 degree angle. My laptop is off to my left side connected to an external monitor, located at about a 40 degree angle to my right. I’m sitting such that I face the laptop, but my head is turned to view the other monitor, where this composition window sits.

I was primarily wondering how the position in which I sit effects the messages by which I send. We’ll see how this comes out, and throw it in the datapool to be fished out some time later.

Today has been one of those less than moderate kind of days. If someone had asked me how I was doing I would have said “Okay, yourself?” And while I’m actually doing less than Okay (which I equate to around a 60% on the “Day is going good-o-meter”), I would never say that I am having a bad day, because then the other persons feels obligated to listen even though they probably don’t care… and if I don’t share with them I look like a self-centered person too. So I say “Okay”. I’ve also considered saying “I’ve had better”, which would enable me to talk about how I have had really good days without focusing so much on today. A tactic only to be used to avoid talking about the current day. But no one really asked, so it doesn’t really matter.

I got a haircut today from Nick at Nick’s Barbershop. Nick is old, and doesn’t work very often anymore, so I was surprised to see him there. He gave me a nice haircut, and didn’t distract me by talking about baseball or Judge Judy… subjects I only pretend to know about because I am sitting in a chair and someone has the future of my head for the next few weeks in their hands.

Mom is trying to make me get fat again. I really don’t like it when she, or anyone, tries to do this. She has always said to me that once upon a time she was as skinny as I was, and that I will gain weight someday. I don’t recall any point in that story where her mom cooked her 2 times the amount of food she wanted. If I am to gain weight, likely caused by a slowing metabolism, poor nutrition, and lackluster exercise habits… I don’t think the gaining weight beforehand process is going to be a positive contributer. Luckily, returning to college next week will enable me to avoid just enough food to counteract the extra large portions mom has been preparing this week. Hopefully my lack of a scale at RPI will report that I am back at my normal weight in no time.

I was trying to think of things that I would want in my life, and continually coming back to a central theme of desire. I won’t lie to you, I think there is something deeper than desire, or desirability, but I’m not sure what it is yet. I can site many an example where I would like to be desired in some way. Certainly not in the physical sense… I won’t joke around with you. No one swoons when I walk through the door; though I try not to make anyone feel nauseous. Its like hrm, pull out your mobile communication device and look at how many incoming communications you receive where someone actually needs you for something… that would be total # of incoming calls minus # of incoming calls where a parrot could be on the other end of the phone. [There is a story about a parrot I should tell if I haven't already]. You could measure the same online via email, website, digital message, etc applying a similar heuristic. As one program calculated today, I have roughly a 0.6% desire ranking. I do not know what a 100% desire ranking, but I think that might be for someone like President Obama, an executive at a company, etc. I don’t think that becoming a phone operator or directory assistance person would solve my problems either, I think there is something deeper I should be exploring with the time I don’t have.

I have developed a new theory. Its quite simple, and pretty catchy. There are some days you should build bridges, and others you just need to shoot zombies.

I would explain it now, but my battery is reporting 17 minutes left which is probably inaccurate.

Goodnight Moon.

  1. One Response to “Writing at an angle”

  2. By Kevkev on Mar 14, 2009

    I’ll shoot zombies with you any day! Wooo zombie hunting!

    And the line about Nick holding the future of your head for the next few weeks made me lol in the library.

    “Don’t talk to me. Just cut my hair. I want to leave.”

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