Where I don't care what others think


October 18th, 2007 Posted in Life, Mistakes, Problems

Is it alright that I’m comfortable with something most people wouldn’t be? Its late, someone has been in the bathroom since roughtly 11:18pm when I decided it was time for an early bedtime. Some bedtime…

Yea, despite what the average person would think, I have lots of logic behind my reasons. Yes, A is commonly associated with B, but plenty of other things are commonly associated with B as well. Its not like a lack of association between A-B implies there is no B, it simply implies B is a little different, maybe more complicated, than one would originally perceive. I’m find breaking the association and connecting B with something more like C if that resolves and dependencies that arise with B that I could be uncomfortable resolving through my role in A. These letters are confusing me, but none the less I don’t want miracles, I want people to be happy.

Also, lately I’ve found myself slightly bored with the coding, sure there is plenty of diverse projects on my plate, but I’ve gotten past the thinking point for most of them. I’m writing code so that they work, there are no more challenges in front of me that I can see because I’ve thought it all out. Stupid thinking ahead.

There are several things I’m not good at, and there are even fewer things I won’t pretend to be good at. I dislike it when people assume that I must be good at something simply because I meet certain criteria, yes they are commonly connected but a connection does not define the magnitude of existence, just existence or not. Commonly is a word that needs work, commonly means that up to a certain threshold, an assumption should hold true. I commonly wash my hands after I go to the restoom, that use of commonly has a very high strength of association but saying I commonly comb my hair after washing my hands is still a true statement, but far less frequent then the first.

Sure, I feel left out sometimes, but then I realize my attitude on life is very differnt. While I won’t use the phrase “visible results”, I think that results are important, but value cannot be lost in the process/effort working towards those results. Yes, all of that is true, but for my case I’ve found that results don’t produce themselves, I have to do something to make them happen. I can’t code and carry on a good conversation at the same time, I don’t have the financial strength to

Ok I think I am going to wet the bed, the bathroom has been occupied for > 1 hour. Wetting the bed is not an option as I just washed these sheets on Tuesday.

If I was a mathematician I could spend my spare time doing math. If I was a scientist of some sort I could do experiments, but as a Brian its hard. I can’t just sit down and crunch formulas or run numbers to produce something, I have to insert some effort.

Sometimes I get the urge to do the math, but then I loop hope and loose objectiveism. I really don’t want to have a quantitative value of looser i am…..

  1. 2 Responses to “Justification”

  2. By katie on Oct 19, 2007

    wierd blog. i dont even know wat to say.


    are u ok?

    anywho. i will miss u this weekend greatly. while u on the other hand, party it up with ur wierd parents who hate me. sigh.

    what a life. what an adventure.

  3. By j on Oct 21, 2007

    his parents hate me too. we should make a club.

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