Where I don't care what others think


September 22nd, 2006 Posted in College, Life, Problems

Today is Friday, September Nth, 2006. I use the N because the date isn’t really important, and because my watch is currently hidden up my sleeve.

Right now, and all night, I am doing nothing. I mean nothing. What really makes this nothing great, is the fact that I’ve been doing it since lunchtime, and for close to a month.

Yup, as of this past Tuesday I’ve been here a month. Today marks the 1 month and 3 day mark. Lets get into this thing.

Most of us started our school experience in preschool or kindergarden. Personally, I attended “Wee-Friends” preschool in the Falls. In preschool and kindergarden, talking to other people was easy. Sharing was forced. Sure, there were shy kids and outgoing kids and obnoxious kids but everyone was in the same boat. They got dropped off, played with toys, and went home to play some more. I’ve created this fake memory of kindergarden that I like to refer to. How do I know its fake? The point of view is the ceiling corner. In pre-school I organized the books all day. Kids would climb up to this mock-office, look at a picture book, and leave it on the carpeting… I would but it away and clean up. Wierd, right? Completely off subject? I’m not going to conduct that anaysis.

As I was saying, in kindergarden, everyone seemed to know or talk to everyone. No one was a pro at typing their shoes, and there were plenty of blocks to go around. Making friends was an easy thing to do, or I don’t even have to take it that far. Lets say you didn’t make friends… you at least talked to other people. Everyone laughed at the “bad” words generally describing fecal matter, everyone wanted to play with the super cool toy. And there were trained professionals, not trained to teach Calculus, but trained to make friends. I think Kindergarden teachers are some of the smartest people in the world, or at least good ones are… they can two people who have little in common to be friends. Again they might have it easier because no one really has anything to be common with…

Lightening bolt….Flash forward a dozen or so years.. welcome to pre-adulthood.

What happened?

It seems things have drastically changed, for me at least. OO.. I have a good analogy to use. We are blocks, or 3-dimensional shapes. In kindergarden and pre-school all the blocks are pretty much the same, a basic cube. Sure, some have little rounded edges or small holes or bumps, but nothing that would make you think the blocks aren’t blocks anymore. As we grow up our blocks change. Holes are carved out, extrusions added in every which way, wierd lumps and divits and rounded edges. As we pass through the older grades, Middle School and High School, everyones block becomes different. Friends can stay friends because their blocks have changed while still next to the other one, they’ve adapted without changing that area that connects them or touched both parts. The problem is by the time your done with HS your block is completely messed up. It doesn’t even look like you started with a block. You’ve got some wierd twisted geometric figure that would be a pain to try and draw in a CAD suite.

And then we strip all the other blocks away, your ripped away from any block you’ve grown close to during HS when you move to college. The system fails. How are these crazy objects suppose to fit together again? Its near impossible that anyone out there has the same block as you. I was about to insert some statistics here but decided not to bore you. Well some people have little faces that can match up, things that are close enough for a fit.. a good foundation to start the everylasting adaptation from.

Unfortunately some of us didn’t make out so well in the block forming process. I decided that I must have 0 flat edges, 0 level spots for another level area to sucessfully make contact, nevermind fit. There are a few people in my life who I have been lucky enough to find or be found by who have developed something special, a little concavity, something that can match up with me to some scale. The probability of finding them, low to none. I know it can take years for that concavity to develop, sometimes unknown or completely unpredicted. Some of you have a concavity and don’t know I. I am a sphere; and I need to let my emotions roll off.

Ok yea.. analogy completed.. sounds like a pretty good one. If you didn’t get it post a comment, you might not have a concavity.

Most of you who have a concavity know it, but I would say there is a chunk of you who don’t. The people I might not call friends, but acquaintences. Chances are we exchanged a few words and at the time I didn’t know anything… but now I realize one of the things I miss most is the culture. The college culture is something different, something that changes from exam day, to frat party, to interview day… I’m not a big fan of rapid change. Give me one thing I can adapt to, something steady or slow changing at least.. don’t forget I’m retarted here people.

I miss Tiger Times a lot.. it makes me sad and will get its very own blog later..

My plan for the night was to watch “Firewall” but Amazon Unbox is going slow because I’m upload several gigabytes of videos to google.

Wish HS didn’t end…


  1. 2 Responses to “TGIF?”

  2. By Kerv on Sep 24, 2006

    Ok mister, you need to not blog about only depressing things. It ain’t helping anyone.

  3. By Kranz on Sep 27, 2006

    Hey man i think i’m in the same boat. I actually wish high school did not end and well, sadly to say, college sucks. lets be blocks again.

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