Well I’m back from South Carolina, this post won’t be about that much tho. I’m too busy being upset at my mom at the moment.
I know my mom has never been super supportive of me and my relationships, I know she was hesitant to allow me to go to South Carolina with Katie and her family but luckily dad was able to pull through. Kudos to dad!
I overheard her talking to one of her sisters about me so I figured I would hang around and see what details she would reveal. Well, turns out my mom offers 0% support for me regarding relationships. I always thought there was a ounce, a drop, a molecule of it but through her conversation she clearly conveyed none.
Mom went on to explain to her sister that Katie and I are very “close” and hangout often. My mom fears that seperation will lead to a huge depression on both of our parts. Sure, I’ll be sad without Katie at RPI.. I know that… but I also know that I can find other ways to show I love someone without always being physically there. My mom took the leap so far as telling Katie’s mom to watch out for Katie when I leave. What does she need to watch out for?
My mom continued with how I choose such an expensive school to attend, I choose the academically rigourous one, etc etc. Well mom? Actually, this was the school of the calibur you chose. When visiting schools like (WPI) you pointed out factors that don’t matter too much like a fallen down neighborhood or a “puertorican district” (My apologies for the spelling). I remember the meetings with guidance where my mom flat out said “MIT is not for you” “Those schools are too far away for you” “You don’t want a city enviroment” and I remember her telling me I was going to a school “better” than UMASS or WNEC.
I come home and guess what, all my mail has been opened and read! Letters to “Brian Michalski”… even one with the word “PRIVATE” on it were opened and mom already had a response planned. She went shopping for me and decided what I need for my dorm room, can I not have a say in what sheets I get? Must I have a matching towel? Does anyone really care if my pillowcase doesn’t match the sheets?
I know what she wants, I know what will make her happy. She wants me to break off and go to college with no friends or relationships like she did. She want me to wait until I’m settled down with a career (if teaching is a career) like she was before I start dating. I never asked for her approval because to me it didn’t matter to me. This doesn’t only apply to relationships either, I know my mom disapproves of me coming home from college to visit with friends and the Tiger Times on any kind of regular basis because that was something she didn’t do. Yes, I know I’m not there yet and I won’t know what will happen for another month and a half but I plan on doing college my way.. and the first step is ordering a laptop that she doesn’t think I should get…
Its just grrrrrr… I never asked for your 100% support, I’ve never gotten it either. I remember the days when I was a younger boy scout and mom was always there telling me it was going to be too cold, I might freeze, maybe you shouldn’t go or the rocks would hurt me, I would get bug bites or scratches.
But you know what mom, I went camping. Yes, it was cold sometimes but I enjoyed ever minute of it. Not only did I enjoy it but I managed to embrace and thrive in it becoming an Eagle Scout. I hope my ability to thrive in such opposition does not only apply to Boy Scouts…
and my heart says it doesn’t
All in all I have a few final thoughts.
Privacy, Trust, Respect, and Courtesy/Decency are worth more than all the gold in the world, a few drops would make me rich. Trust few but yourself. Rely on few but yourself. Privacy does not exist.
A cane made of jello looks cool but does nothing.
Ok, wierd ending.. time to shower and attack the peeling skin.