Where I don't care what others think

Pain… suffering… wet towel

June 17th, 2006 Posted in Uncategorized

A few months ago I saw myself having the same boring, unfun, lonely summer I’ve had for the past 4 years. This year was different though, this year there was a fleck of hope for change. A chance for a summer of excitement, friends, and fun. But today, that speck of hope washed away, and the summer I saw, the one I’ve seen so man times before, became the summer that is.
I sit here outside alone in one chair. Sitting in the chair next to me is a citronella candle, and it won’t even say lit. I’m alone out here, my family hasn’t noticed me missing or cared to see what’s wrong.
I tried to wish upon a star, but there aren’t even stars in this cloudy Vermont sky. If I could only catch a lucky mosquito, I’ve already planned my wish.
This summer was and is my last summer to do things right, and it’s gotten off to the worse start ever. What makes this summer worse than all others is what I have strapped to my waist. A one way, see through portal into fun. I’m seeing, hearing, and reading about the fun others are having and I’m jealous. I’m jealous I’m imprisoned up here while everyone is galavanting south of the border. I’m envious of the memories being made that seem to last forever, when all I can get is a mosquito bite. I’m jealous there is someone sitting, standing, or even near you, when all I have is a candle.
Its not the fact I always want to, or care to, participate in the fun. The fact is I just like having the opportunity, I appreciate the invite, the chance to take you up on the offer….. but I can’t even do that.

I sat outside for 2.5 hours, it’s now 10:30. No one came to check on me.

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