I’ll be honest. I feel like I’m ready to throw up. I know that throwing up really won’t solve anything and will just make a mess.
What’s really bothering me is a huge internal conflict, so huge I could punch another wall. I’m stuck between a rock and a wall of nails. Either way out is not fun at all, the rock is very big and the wall is made of nails… ouch!
What really makes me confused is that I know exactly what I’m suppose to do. The problem is the situation isn’t as I expected it to be. I wasn’t suppose to be this involved, I wasn’t suppose to care this much. If I do what I’m suppose to, I’ll not only be disowned by my friends, I’ll be disowned by the entire student population in several towns, and probably even disowned by my brother.
It’s just so confusing, in one sense I want to do what I’m suppose to, but in the other sense I want to try and find a better, less harse or less… direct?… route.
I’m not worried about how much work things involve, that’s never been an issue…. time however is not on my side. I’m on a very set time frame, and it’s really not on my side here.
In one sense I know you might all thank me later, but I know you won’t want to talk to me now.